I don’t do “crazy”. Calculated yes, but not crazy. Crazy for me is left on the fringes, and for good reason: it just doesn’t belong in the world of air transportation. And I would assume that most of my passengers will agree.

But…I quit my job.

My current employer has been incredibly gracious with our situation. Partly because they love aviation as much as I do (maybe more) but also because they are just like that. Skinner Nursery is a family owned business and over the last year and a half that I have worked there I have seen the owners make many decisions with the intent of keeping as many people employed as possible. It takes a lot of integrity to do that in the current economic climate.  That’s how they are.

However, at some point the next step needs to be taken. But for me to quit my current job goes as something completely against my nature.  While it was not an unanticipated move, it’s still something like jumping into those cold Canadian lakes of my youth.  When Jami and I started this journey 2 years ago and I knew this day was coming.  I was under the impression, however, that everything would be in order by this stage of the game. The house would be sold, we would be well supported, and I could make the logical and safe step into my training. It would be that easy, right?

I’m just not ready yet.

I have had more than one fellow missionary (who are generally further down the road) tell me that there would come a time when I would have to do something crazy. For example, resigning your position without answers to all the questions. What will I do? How will I pay for it? What if this?  What if that? All these linger in my head as March 1^st fast approaches, but I don’t have answers.

What I do know is this….

God has called us. Jami and I each have a part to play in Africa and, economy or not, He will see us through to completion. You, our support team, have been incredibly faithful and generous.  So one answer I know of is that just enough funds have been provided for us to take the next step; and so we will. From the beginning God has only asked us to take the next step and maybe that’s not so bad.

So, resigning is not a resignation…

Instead it’s a faith filled acceptance of where God wants me.  An acceptance that keeps me vulnerable and trusting in His provision. Maybe it’s not as big of a step as I think it is.  But it is a resignation…no, a submission…of myself and my family to His care.  He knows there will be bigger issues down the road, and He knows I’ll need the practice.

Me and my family going to Africa without faith in His provision…..now that’s crazy!

Phase one in Learning my new iMac:

learn how to get video off the camera and into the computer: check!

This video was taken in August when Isaac invited 10 of his friends and their moms to come for an African Playdate.  Obviously, our ministry through the eyes of a 4 yr old isn’t peppered with details, just the “cool” stuff that matters!  I’m not sure I’ve ever had a prouder moment.  Mommy and Daddy should probably take notes from this little expert on effective presentations!  Enjoy.

God! Please hurry to my rescue! 

    God, come quickly to my side!

Let all who love your saving way

     Say over and over, “God is Mighty!”

But I’ve lost it.  I’m wasted.

    God – quickly, quickly!

Quick to my side, quick to my rescue!

    God, don’t lose a minute.

I run for dear life to God…

    Do what you do so well:

Get me out of this mess and up on my feet.

Be a guest room where I can retreat,

    You said your door was always open!

You’re my salvation – my vast, granite fortress.

                             Psalm 70 and 71

                             Select verses

                             The Message

Last night I discovered the silver lining to the “terrible twos”.  If you’ve ever had a toddler you know the fury they impart to just about every minute of the day.  My youngest son, Cole, is no exception.  Pure sweetness and hilarity one minute, fierce flesh the next.  I’ve often cried out in the middle of a long day, wondering what in the world this phase of childhood could ever be useful for.  Last night, he blessed me with a new perspective on his strong will and determination.

After having an in impromptu family movie night one would think a child would feel fortunate to just have been given a few generous moments of wake time.  Not Cole.  It is necessary, for the sake of status quo I suppose, to pitch a limp fit at bedtime.  After being chided by Daddy to make his way up the stairs Cole continued to assert that Mama was the only one who could convince him towards bed.  (Insert Irony: Mama attempted such convincing only hours prior at naptime with no avail.  Thus, neither Daddy nor Mama was buying the argument).  Having dealt with the whining all day, on top of a fever and soar throat, I opted to let Daddy “prod” with a mite of satisfaction in my heart.  After dosing meds for his sinus problems (and, let’s be honest, for a prayer of deep sleep for the whole house) I kissed him goodnight and headed to Isaac’s room to repeat the ritual.  Hopefully you can pity my annoyance when I exited the eldest room only to hear Coley Bear crying.  I decidedly opened the door with intent for punishment, assuming he was going to use some lame excuse like “I don’t want go bed” or, my personal favorite, “I need go pee pee”.  I just was not in the mood.

“What, Cole?  What is the problem?” I barked.

Defense diffused into guilt when I sensed the sincerity of tonight’s dilemma.

“I don’t want du debul in my bed”.

Timeout: before any of you go getting all judgmental about why my two year old even knows anything about “du debul” let me assure you it was not a haphazard dialogue.  I have thought long and hard about when would be the appropriate time to introduce either of my children to the concept of The Evil One.  Trouble is, you can’t throw too much past a kid without them cluing in.  You can’t ask your kids to memorize Psalms 23 without somehow needing to assign blame for “the valley of the shadow of death”.  Furthermore, we are moving to Africa; the Mecca of spiritual warfare.  I have made great effort to suit up for the coming battle and I finally decided my children needed a Sword as well.  So, naturally, they need to have a clear understanding of just who The Enemy is and a bit of knowledge to his battle plan.  Obviously, I was taking a risk.  My kids could totally misunderstand and be captured by fear (as we all are occasionally, if he’s doing his job, right?).  But, I have prayed and prayed that my boys would see past their fear and find their Authority in Christ.  So, you can imagine my jubilation when Cole offered me a glimpse into his preparedness.

“Cole,” I said tenderly, “What do you need to do if you want the devil to leave?”

Everything in me wanted to offer the answer so as to assure him of his safety.  But I waited quietly for an indication of his understanding.

“I haff a talk bout God and haff a talk bout my verses”.

Someone should tell the NFL to consult me as the choreographer for the Superbowl Touchdown dance!  My heart exploded and I just wanted to break out into a jive that would embarrass me if the lights were on.  But mostly, I wanted to shout: “HA, debul…IN YOUR FACE!!  This child is locked and loaded and two years old!!” 

“Coley, you are exactly right”, I said quietly and completely composed.  “How about if you and Mommy say Psalm 91, okay?” (Thanks for the ammo, Miss Nancy!!)

“Yah, cuz dat makesa debul scared and GO WAY” he said in his most assertive tone.

“It sure does, son.  You Ready?”

“Yah..you go firs”.

“Those who live in the…

shelta of a mos’ high..

will find rest in the…

shadow of a ah mitey.

This I…

‘CLAIR OF DA WOHRD: (shouting)

He alone is my…

Wefuge…ana pace of safey.

He is my…

God an I twusting in HIM.

Translation:

Those who live in the Shelter of the Most High will find rest in the Shadow of the All Mighty.  This I declare of the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety.  He is my God, and I am trusting in Him. (Psalm 91: 1-2 NLT)

I waited for a moment, somewhat unsure of what to say next.  But, in true Coley Bear style, he took the words right out of my mouth:

“da debul aw gone, Mama?”

“Yes, son, he’s all gone!  You did a great job.  He got scared and ran away.”

“Yah…dat stinker!  Go way, debul, and don’t come back til I say so!”

(Gratitude to Nana and Papa for teaching my son “stinker” and to his favorite book that teaches him how to show ‘em who’s boss).

As I write I am reminded of two things:

1. We are just a vessel.  Only God can make my kids understand in their hearts what Brian and I try to place in their minds every day. Thus, the importance of prayer.
2. Whether Cole one day chooses to live his life for the Lord or chooses to follow self, I am doing my job as a mother to the best of my ability.  When he is 15 and rebelling against what he knows in his mind to be true…refer to #1.

• Kenya is experiencing a widespread famine due to the lack of rain

• No, we still have not sold our house; Yes, we are looking into alternatives…care to offer any?

• Our monthly support target is $5400.  Currently we have pledges for $2155.

• Underwear is hard to come by in Nairobi.

• Our Outgoing budget is $50,000.  We have raised $16,855.  When you include the monthly gifts that will feed that account until we leave, we could be up to around $32,000 by June.  That leaves about $18,000 we still need to locate.  To put it in perspective, that means we have already covered Brian’s flight training, travel expenses, African Orientation, equipment, etc.  What remains will buy our car and furnish our home in Nairobi (just as examples).

• Due to the drought, electricity in Nairobi is rationed.  Each home is only allowed electricity every other day for the unforeseeable future.

•  We are still planning for Brian to start training on March 1^st.  Therefore, his current employer is planning for his departure on February 1^st.  Yes, this is faith at its finest!

• The movie “Lion King” actually uses accurate Swahili; hakuna matata really does mean “there are no problems”

• Our greatest need is new opportunities to share the ministry.  Ask your Sunday Schools, Bible Studies, Small Groups, employer, etc. if they would be willing to hear from us.

Thank you for standing with us!  Just watching the hits on this blog is a source of encouragement!  We appreciate your partnership.

***Coming soon…more videos and new photos!

So, this is a new style of writing for me but I truly enjoyed the effort.  WARNING: while this post is based on a true story, I assure you all my marbles are securely stowed!

She was stunning.  I have seen beautiful women in my time but none as striking as she was.  And that is all I knew about her.  I couldn’t tell you what made her so attractive. I saw her only for a millisecond before she disappeared down the airport escalator.  After two failed attempts at the computerized kiosks I was standing in line with the rest of the technologically delayed passengers when I spotted her.  I may not have seen her at all except I couldn’t take my eyes off of the family of 4 who battled with the luggage of a family of twenty.  I was envisioning the scene my own family would make when departing for Africa when I was mysteriously distracted by the fleeting presence of this phantom beauty.  I can tell you she had raven black hair and dark blood red stiletto heels.  As to her face, what she wore or what she carried I can’t recall.  Not that it mattered much as I would become increasingly familiar with her over the following 48 hours.

…

…Continue reading Grief is a Lady »

I don’t know why it didn’t occur to us sooner!  Each and every day Brian and I imagine what life will be like.  Sometimes our imaginations run away and we find ourselves riding zebras like an African Cowboy or dancing in the desert like Indian Jones in a paradise mirage.  But most of the time, we are equally as marveled by the reality of what we know will be true for our lives.  The stories we’ve heard from veterans and colleagues weave an, admittedly distorted, but more accurate tapestry of how we plan to make ourselves available to the Lord through the ministry of AIM Air and the On Field Media team.  Unfortunately, in the middle of our dreaming, we left you behind.  Many of you have indicated the desire to know…to see, feel, hear…what we will be doing in Africa.  One day, I’ll write such accounts here for you to experience in real time as we do.  But for now, I wanted to invite you into the world Brian and I live and dream of every day.  Please take a few minutes to discover the wonder of being a Missions Pilot – or in this case, a hero to some tiny tattered bodies with gigantic whole spirits.  Enjoy this story by our colleague (both a pilot AND a writer AND a photographer), Mike DeLorenzo.  I will get Mike’s permission later, but for now I encourage you to visualize Brian as the servant of the story because, one day soon, it will be all of our realities!

“WHOLE” by Mike DeLorenzo